Herbs'n' Other Alternative Health Remedies

Herbs'n' Other Alternative Health Remedies
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Saturday, June 7, 2008

Their Heaven's Gone Up in a Puff of Smoke

Out of the corner of my eye I could see them. I could have looked at them fully, and they would have never noticed, so intent were they in one another. I watched as they seemed to devour every word that the other said. It is not often that you witness such love. It gave me goose bumps. I could not remember the last time my husband looked at me with that puppy dog look. . . .and now look at them.

Her face had sunken; her eyes were swollen from crying. He was gone for longs hours at a time, with no word. She said she had been throwing up because of stress. Her clothes hung on her. He was no where in sight. I did not want to see him. He broke her heart. She loved him so much, and he had so carelessly thrown that away.

At first the habit developed, according to him, as a way to deal with childhood trauma. He initiated the behavior but soon the behavior controlled him. The bills were all past due. He wasn’t eating. He wasn’t sleeping. He did not interact with his family in a positive way. He was breaking and entering into homes, committing robbery to support his habit. Everything that mattered once now took a back seat as the need to get high became stronger. His fear of getting caught became a distant memory as the need loomed larger than life. Long gone were the feelings of love and respect he held for anyone much less himself.

I feared for her and her children; not just for their life as they once knew it, but for their safety. The home and car they were about to lose seemed some how insignificant when I realized the larger potential dangers. I wanted to scream run and don’t look back. The love she had for him had been so strong that she had initially held on to the hope that together they could beat this thing. As she told how hard he had tried to fight the addiction her eyes implored me to understand why she hadn't left yet.

She grabbed at her shorts so they would not fall off her lean body. Her legs had lost most their flesh and were small and fragile looking, her eyes rimmed in red from many days of crying. Her hands nervously picked at her clothing, ashamed at the revelation, as if she felt that she some how had failed this young man and had pushed him into his downward spiral. Her eyes begged for understanding, and my heart went out to her. Perhaps if her love had never been as strong as it had she may not have felt the turmoil of emotions she now felt. I held her small bony frame, now smaller than her children. I felt her racking sobs. Where does she go now? How does she escape? I sent up earnest pleas to our Father for His protection and guidance and drove home, while my spirit remained miles from home.. Thankfully God is every where.


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