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Thursday, August 16, 2012

You Quit Trying. Now Try Quitting!

Dad yelling at daughter

If only we could love and accept people as they are; not to say that they should not try to be their best, the person God created them to be, but sometimes as humans we have this crazy notion that we are inadequate and not because we are not trying our level best, but just because we feel that we
do not have the luxury of being anything less than perfect.  Echoing in my head every time I make a mistake is my father’s angry voice asking me incessantly “Can’t you do ANYthing right? It was enough to make anyone doubt themselves and just stop trying.

But my father, truthfully, was not talking to me when he was angry and critical. He was talking to the little boy inside himself; the one he always felt did not measure up. Was that what happened to Elvis Presley and Michael Jackson? Were they trying to attain greatness beyond what they had already reached? Was that the reason they used one substance to increase stamina and energy and another to quiet it down later so they could get the rest they so desperately needed?

My father had not even graduated from high school when he left to serve his country and during his physical found out he had flat feet so the Army did not want him. He was but 16; his father was a cruel task master and school was a luxury. He had hoped to get an education and make something of himself in the military. His father’s dream was the dairy farm he grew up on but my father needed his own dream.

He married Mom when she was 15 and they had my sister and I in less than two years. They both worked full time and then Dad came home to work his many odd jobs. After working till dark he would come in to rest but his ulcers tore at his stomach and kept him from sleeping so he would drink till he got tired mean. He was so driven that he would have never thought of calling for help or using a program such as Atlanta alcohol rehab.


Elvis, Michael and my father all had something in common. They abused substances till the substances abused them. Talented, bright, dedicated, hardworking, determined…but they are all gone. It should not  take one more person leaving us as a result of substance abuse, for us to understand that there are programs to help such as Atlanta Drug Rehab


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5 comments:

Self Sagacity August 16, 2012 at 9:55 PM  

Interesting post about your daddy. Sometimes I wondered about the people of those times, they are somehow more likely to be very self destructive than people now a day when things don't go their way.

CHAN LEE PENG August 16, 2012 at 10:02 PM  

Yes,you are right! They are talented but abused on the substance..

betchai August 16, 2012 at 11:39 PM  

indeed, sometimes, if they just would seek for help and assistance to rehabilitate, it would have been easier for them to face the issues and struggles that they were dealing with. sometimes, though we are surrounded by people, but it can feel so alone when we have no one to talk to that we think would understand us perfectly without judging us, maybe, that is why they resorted to substance abuse? you raised very good points here Julie.

betchai August 16, 2012 at 11:41 PM  

ps....sorry for my error, I believe I just said Julie, not Judy :) my bad, I apologize, Judy. anyway, thanks for raising this, though sensitive issue but very important to be addressed right.

Judy SheldonWalker August 17, 2012 at 12:26 AM  

Amanda, I think you are right. We did very little for people who had emotional issues back then unless they had a lot of money and time. Sometimes even today we expect people to just "snap out of it".

Betchai, don't worry about it. Julie is so close to Judy. It certainly is not a big deal. I truly appreciate your taking time to add your input.

Blessings.

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